The Challenge of Kindness

What is kindness? One person’s kindness can be another person’s neurosis, as Rabbi Daniel Lapin tells us:

Years ago a member of my synagogue who worked as a pediatric nurse told me about a young mother who brought her infant in for the baby’s first immunizations. As the doctor picked up the syringe, the mother began sobbing, grabbed her baby, and fled the room saying, “It’s going to be too painful.” While some parents are rightfully wary of immunizations because of potential side effects, this mother was not making a reasoned and thoughtful decision. She was reacting emotionally and, in her view, with compassion. My guess is that she thought of herself as an extremely kind person, perhaps one who avoided stepping on ants and never passed a beggar without dropping a coin in his lap. Yet, as any parent who is aware of the crippling effect of some dangerous childhood diseases could tell you, she may actually have been acting with great cruelty. She was putting her own emotions ahead of her child’s real needs. (Buried Treasure, pp 93-94)

What would you want to say to this mother?

Rabbi Daniel says of kindness:

The Hebrew word for an act of profound kindness is CHeSeD. Interestingly, God Himself commits both the first and last acts of CHeSeD chronicled in [Torah]. He tailors suits of clothing for Adam and Eve after their fig leaves proved inadequate. Helping people clothe themselves in a dignified fashion is considered to be a greater act of kindness, CHeSeD, than giving them food. This is because the latter alleviates only a physical discomfort while clothing protects human dignity.


Doing someone a kindness while expecting no repayment is also seen as a special act of CHeSeD. At the close of the book of Deuteronomy, God buries Moses. Burying someone is an act of kindness that the recipient will never be able to repay. (p 94)

What acts of kindness have others done for you? What have you done for others? While showing kindness while expecting no repayment is part of CHeSeD, how do some peoples’ motivation impair acts of CHeSeD?


Consider Psalm 23. Where is CHeSeD in this psalm?

1  The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
2  He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters,
3  he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
4  Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
5  You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
6  Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

Did you pick “love” in verse 6? Other translations translate CHeSeD there as mercy (KJV), or loving kindness (NASB).

Closing Thought:  The CH in CHeSeD is a hard ‘G’ sound—similar to the ‘gh’ in ghetto. Also, the S in the middle of CHeSeD is written in Hebrew as ס, and in Hebrew words that come into English, the S frequently changes into an O. For example, the Hebrew word for a prophetic sign, SiMeN, come into English as OMeN.


So, take CHeSeD, change the CH to G, change the S to O, drop the vowels, and what do you have? GOD. God is the heart of loving-kindness.

Going Door-to-Door (or Dor-to-Dor)

Isaac Newton—physicist, astronomer, “discoverer” of gravity, founder of modern calculus, investigator into optics, and theologian—is reported to have said, “If I have seen further it is only by standing on the shoulders of giants.” Rabbi Daniel Lapin explains it this way:

A potential Einstein who appears on the scene as a young child, but from whom all knowledge of past discoveries in theoretical physics has been withheld, must start from scratch in his scientific inquiries. Under such conditions, he will never become the Einstein familiar to us as the greatest scientific genius of this past century. In fact, he’ll be lucky if he reinvents the wheel. In one person’s lifetime it simply is not possible to progress from the wheel to nuclear power without building on earlier discoveries. (Buried Treasure, p 84)

Who have been the “giants” in your life? (i.e. the ones who gave you what you needed to see farther)


Rabbi Daniel explains this continuity with those who came before:

Whether in the workplace or the family, the importance of ensuring continuity from generation to generation lies behind the Hebrew word that means generation: DOR.

In Hebrew thought, a DOR is not a number of years, like twenty or twenty-five, but a measure of continuity on which all else depends. It is a spiritual, not biological, measurement. A child, his parent, and grandparent add up to three generations only if we can identify something beyond DNA that has passed down from grandparent to parent to child. (pp 83-84)

What has been the continuity, if anything, in your family? (What got handed down from your grandparents to your parents and then to you? What have you handed on to children or grandchildren?)


Generations are not necessarily bound together by DNA. What have you received or passed on to those to whom you are not related? What are the communities?


The Hebrew letters for the consonants of DOR have a similar shape: ד (for the D) and ר (for the R). The first is often translated as “law” or “structure” and the latter as “mercy” or “flexibility.”


How do you see these meanings in similar, but different, shapes of the letters?


Consider Psalm 32. Where are law & mercy, continuity & generations found in this psalm?


Rabbi Daniel says, “But this is just as it must be. First [structure] and then and only then comes [flexibility]. Future dorot (the plural of dor) will reap the benefits. (p 89)

Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered.

Blessed is the man whose sin the LORD does not count against him and in whose spirit is no deceit.

When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long.

For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer.

Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said,
I will confess my transgressions to the LORD "—
and you forgave the guilt of my sin.

Therefore let everyone who is godly pray to you while you may be found; surely when the mighty waters rise, they will not reach him.

You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you.

Do not be like the horse or the mule, which have no understanding but must be controlled by bit and bridle or they will not come to you.

Many are the woes of the wicked, but the LORD's unfailing love surrounds the man who trusts in him.

Rejoice in the LORD and be glad, you righteous; sing, all you who are upright in heart!

What will you do with what you have learned?


Closing Thought: Newton actually wrote more about theology than about the science for which he is best remembered.

Sisters (and Daughters)

We learned last week that there is no word in Hebrew for a single parent. Similarly, there is no word in Hebrew for a single sister! The word for sister, achot, is plural already (in Hebrew, plurals ending in ‘im’ are masculine, those ending in ‘ot’ are feminine). Technically, in Hebrew, if Pam were to introduce Carlene, she would say, “I’d like you to meet my sisters Carlene!”



Rabbi Daniel Lapin suggests that the plurality of sisterhood stems from the changing relationship one has with a sister or daughter before and after she marries. Before marriage, the most important man in a woman’s life is usually her father; after marriage it must be her husband. Rabbi Daniel tells of asking a friend, a successful businessman, if his sons and sons-in-law worked for him in his business. The man replied that only his sons worked for him!


While I am certain my sons-in-law would follow my directives as surely as do my sons ... their wives—my daughters—would respect them just a bit less for being their father’s employees. (Buried Treasure, p 81)


What is your reaction to this story? Do you have a similar story of relationships before/after a woman marries?

Genesis 31 tells of Jacob and his family fleeing from Laban, the father of two of Jacob’s wives, and returning to Canaan.

Jacob heard that Laban's sons were saying, "Jacob has taken everything our father owned and has gained all this wealth from what belonged to our father." And Jacob noticed that Laban's attitude toward him was not what it had been. Then the LORD said to Jacob, "Go back to the land of your fathers and to your relatives, and I will be with you." So Jacob sent word to Rachel and Leah to come out to the fields where his flocks were. He said to them, "I see that your father's attitude toward me is not what it was before, but the God of my father has been with me ... I am the God of Bethel, where you anointed a pillar and where you made a vow to me. Now leave this land at once and go back to your native land.'"



Then Rachel and Leah replied, "Do we still have any share in the inheritance of our father's estate? Does he not regard us as foreigners? Not only has he sold us, but he has used up what was paid for us. Surely all the wealth that God took away from our father belongs to us and our children. So do whatever God has told you."


Then Jacob put his children and his wives on camels, and he drove all his livestock ahead of him, along with all the goods he had accumulated in Paddan Aram, to go to his father Isaac in the land of Canaan. When Laban had gone to shear his sheep, Rachel stole her father's household gods. Moreover, Jacob deceived Laban the Aramean by not telling him he was running away. So he fled with all he had, and crossing the River, he headed for the hill country of Gilead.


On the third day Laban was told that Jacob had fled. Taking his relatives with him, he pursued Jacob for seven days and caught up with him in the hill country of Gilead ... Then Laban said to Jacob, "What have you done? You've deceived me, and you've carried off my daughters like captives in war. Why did you run off secretly and deceive me? Why didn't you tell me, so I could send you away with joy and singing to the music of tambourines and harps? ou didn't even let me kiss my grandchildren and my daughters good-by. You have done a foolish thing. I have the power to harm you; but last night the God of your father said to me, 'Be careful not to say anything to Jacob, either good or bad.' Now you have gone off because you longed to return to your father's house. But why did you steal my gods?"


Jacob answered Laban, "I was afraid, because I thought you would take your daughters away from me by force. But if you find anyone who has your gods, he shall not live. In the presence of our relatives, see for yourself whether there is anything of yours here with me; and if so, take it." Now Jacob did not know that Rachel had stolen the gods.


So Laban went into Jacob's tent and into Leah's tent and into the tent of the two maidservants, but he found nothing. After he came out of Leah's tent, he entered Rachel's tent. Now Rachel had taken the household gods and put them inside her camel's saddle and was sitting on them. Laban searched through everything in the tent but found nothing.


Rachel said to her father, "Don't be angry, my lord, that I cannot stand up in your presence; I'm having my period." So he searched but could not find the household gods ...


Early the next morning Laban kissed his grandchildren and his daughters and blessed them. Then he left and returned home.

How do you explain what transpired in this story?


Closing Thought: You may have heard Christians say that the husband is supposed to be the spiritual head of the house. Is that your experience? If it is true, how does that pertain to the changing roles of sisters and daughters?


On the other hand, there is saying, “A son’s a son ‘til he marries a wife, but a daughter’s a daughter the rest of her life.” Which picture of marriage more closely matches how you think marriages tend to work?

Parents

Rabbi Daniel Lapin tells of hiring a former elementary school teacher to be his secretary:

As we got to know each other a little better over the next two years, Charla’s story emerged. Having been trained as a teacher, she loved teaching the youngest grades. But eventually she had sadly concluded that within the school system there was little she could do for those in her charge...

“Rabbi,” she said, “into my classroom walked four- and five-year-old children who had never in their lives held a crayon, pencil, or book. They had never had an adult read them a bedtime story. They had spent the entirety of their short lives plopped in front of a TV, neglected by their drug-addicted mothers.”

As a teacher responsible for a large class of children, there was simply too little that she could do for them. It broke her heart to watch little lives destroyed almost before they had begun. Charla decided that she could not spend her entire day surrounded by such tragedy; instead, she would volunteer to work with one child at a time. And so each day after she finished helping me with my work, she headed over to a church-run child-care center and tried to be a short term mother to one child at a time. (Buried Treasure, p 71-72)

How important do you think you are to a child’s development? (As a parent, grandparent, uncle/aunt, or role model)


The Hebrew word for parents is horim—the ‘im’ signifies that the word is plural. There is no word for a single parent; one can be a father, or a mother, but not a single parent. What inferences do you make from this?


If there was a singular form of the word, it would be horeh, but the word does not exist. A very similar-sounding word, yoreh, can mean either an archer or the first gentle rains of the season that germinate the freshly sown seed in the field. How is each parent like a yoreh?


Proverbs 6:20-23 (The Message) says:

Good friend, follow your father's good advice;
don't wander off from your mother's teachings.


Wrap yourself in them from head to foot;
wear them like a scarf around your neck.


Wherever you walk, they'll guide you;
whenever you rest, they'll guard you;
when you wake up, they'll tell you what's next.

For sound advice is a beacon,
good teaching is a light,
moral discipline is a life path.

How much of parenting do you think is instinctive (i.e. you parent as you were parented)? Are our instincts trustworthy? If you parent instinctively, how can you adjust to the personality of each child?


Rabbi Daniel concludes, “Maybe the rain does fall equally upon each seed, but no archer shoots all his arrows identically...The wise archer handles each arrow in the unique way its mission demands...After the birth of their child, [horim]—like the archer—can shoot powerfully and straight or like the mothers of Charla’s pupils, leave the arrow to dangle limply from the bow, most likely to fall to the ground ” (Buried Treasure, p 76). Be an archer!

Closing Thought: You know at least one other Hebrew ending in ‘im’—Elohim, one of the names for God. Although the word is plural, it refers just to the one true God!



What does parenting look like in this passage? For better or worse, it that how people parent today? What aspects of parenting do you not see in this passage?What is your reaction to this story?

A Place of Grace

Imagine that you are newly married, starting a family, starting from scratch, and moving into your first house.  What is the first piece of furniture you would buy? Why?


Your answer might have been a TV, a couch, a bed, a dinner table, a desk, a hutch, or something entirely different. What sort of message would each of those pieces of furniture send?


The Hebrew word for a table is shul-chan, closely related to the word shel-chen, meaning “place of grace.” As Rabbi Daniel Lapin says, “Grace is one of those words we all use but would be hard pressed to define” (Buried Treasure, p 65). Take your best shot at it: What is grace?


Rabbi Daniel says, “Chen [grace] is used in [in the Tanakh, i.e. the Hebrew Bible] in two instances: The first of these is when someone in the Bible camps or rests in once place for a while, and the second describes human interaction that generates economic activity” (Buried Treasure, p 65). Look up the following passages and decide how grace—or favor—is manifested in each passage, and decide if you agree with Rabbi Daniel: Genesis 18:1-5; Genesis 19:15-22; Proverbs 3:3-4; Jeremiah 31:1-6.


What sort of idioms do we have in English involving a table? Do any of these relate to blessings of rest or prosperity?


Purdue University produced a study (”Family Meals Spell S-U-C-C-E-S-S”) that concluded:


 shared family mealtime was a greater predictor of academic success than number of parents in the family;


 more vocabulary is learned at a dinner table than during parent-child reading time;


 teens eating 5 or more times a week with their families were 67% more likely to get A’s than teens eating 2 times a week or less with their families;


 infrequent family meals was also a predictor of: tobacco, marijuana, and alcohol use; belligerent and suicidal behavior; poor work habits; negative peer relationships; eating disorders; and poor dietary habits.


Do you have stories of when your family dinner table (if you have one!) has been a place of grace?


The Parable of the Great Banquet:  Luke 14:15-23


When one of those at the table with him heard this, he said to Jesus, "Blessed is the man who will eat at the feast in the kingdom of God." Jesus replied: "A certain man was preparing a great banquet and invited many guests. At the time of the banquet he sent his servant to tell those who had been invited, 'Come, for everything is now ready.' But they all alike began to make excuses. The first said, 'I have just bought a field, and I must go and see it. Please excuse me.' Another said, 'I have just bought five yoke of oxen, and I'm on my way to try them out. Please excuse me.' Still another said, 'I just got married, so I can't come.' The servant came back and reported this to his master. Then the owner of the house became angry and ordered his servant, 'Go out quickly into the streets & alleys of the town and bring in the poor, the crippled, the blind and the lame.' 'Sir,' the servant said, 'what you ordered has been done, but there is still room.' Then the master told his servant, 'Go out to the roads & country lanes and make them come in, so that my house will be full. I tell you, not one of those men who were invited will get a taste of my banquet.'”


How is the banquet in this parable like many family meals?


What “dining tables” do we have at church, and what purposes do they serve?


Closing Thought:  Is the last sentence of the parable a judgment, or simply descriptive of what happened?

Learning by Imitation

Rabbi Daniel Lapin says:

In earlier times parents often depended upon their grown children for their very lives. The unspoken social compact called upon parents to raise their children, while in return, during the parents’ old age, those children would care for them. Back then it was perfectly clear that children were literally their parents’ hands. The adult children did all that those original hands were now too weary to accomplish for themselves. (Buried Treasure, p 59)

Tell a story, or stories, of where you have seen this “social compact” at work ...


We learned that the Hebrew word for a single hand is yad. If we stick a single letter in the middle (remember, we only care about the consonants) we get yeled, a Hebrew word for child. The name for that Hebrew “L” is lamed. Curiously, lamad is a Hebrew verb for teach/learn. Lapin says of children’s imitation of their parents:

While growing children certainly want their parents to recognize them as independent people, they also enjoy being considered as “hands.” Just watch how that little girl dresses herself in imitation of her mother’s sense of fashion. See her beg to be allowed to help bake that cake ... She wants to be linked to her mother ... Dads, if you are handy around the home, try giving your young son his own toolbox. Or better yet, earnestly enlist his assistance on some home maintenance project. Even though his help will undoubtedly complicate what may have been a simple task, invite him to participate with you. Be sure to ask for his help in a way that conveys your genuine need for "another hand.” (Buried Treasure, p 60)

Tell a story, or stories, of where you have been a part of this sort of imitative learning ...

Strangely, as much as the Hebrew scriptures use the words yad, yeled, and lamad, they rarely occur in the same verse! Read God’s judgment of Jerusalem in Isaiah 29:13-21. What examples of “bad learning” do you see in these verses?


Now read Isaiah 29:22-24. What conclusions can you reach about hands, children, and teaching in these verses?


What is the significance of the reference to Abraham in v22?


When / how is discipleship like “imitative learning?”


Closing Thought:  Even though our help will undoubtedly complicate what may have been a simple task for God, he invites us to participate with him. Where has he asked for your help and conveyed his genuine need for "another hand?”

A Real Knee-Slapper?

We are doing a lot of reading tonight! We’re skipping through several chapters of Genesis just to understand a single verse:

Sarah saw that [Ishmael] whom Hagar the Egyptian had borne to Abraham was mocking (Genesis 21:9)

Whom was Ishmael mocking, and how, and for what reason?

We begin today’s story when Abram is 85, and his wife Sari is 75.

Genesis 16:1-12 [Note: "Ishmael" means “God hears”]

What sort of person would you expect Ishmael to turn out to be?

Now fast-forward ahead 14 years ...

Genesis 17:1-5,15-22

Notes:
"Abram" means “father of many”
"Abraham" means “father of many nations”
"Sarai" and "Sarah" both mean "princess"
"Isaac" means “he will laugh”

How many reasons can you give for Abraham laughing? How many are wrong or disrespectful?

Just a few days later, the Lord came to Abraham again ...

Genesis 18:10-15

How many reasons can you give for Sarah laughing? How many are wrong or disrespectful?

Finally, a year later ...

Genesis 21:1-10

Rabbi Daniel Lapin notes that laughter is a very human characteristic; no other animal truly laughs. “Laughter is a defining mark of humanity because only humans understand that there are norms in the universe” (Buried Treasure, p 46) ... and humor is the recognition that the norm, the expected, is out of whack! We say that Isaac (or yiTZCHaK in Hebrew) means “he will laugh.” However, the dark side of humor appears when evil ruptures the natural order of the universe; a miTZaCHeK is the one through whom this evil comes: the pervert; the sadistic brute; the wild donkey of a man. Whatever Sarah caught Ishmael doing, he was the miTZaCHeK, and she sent him as far away from her son as she could. Ancient Jewish tradition is that Sarah caught Ishmael committing the three gravest sins: idol worship; sexual immmorality; murder. Definitely not a laughing matter! Armed with what you now know, go back through these passages and look for more evidence of trouble to come. What do you find?

Two sons. Two pictures of TZCHK, a violation of the natural order of things. One, a blessing wrought by the Lord, prompts his parents to laughter. The second, a deviant, is destined to be no end of trouble. Lapin notes, “And should you ever find yourself doubting God, that He exists and that He loves us, the best proof that your doubts are unfounded is not the complicated theoretical proof in which theologians delight. It is the smile and laughter on the face of a newborn baby, and the joy it provokes in all who see it” (Buried Treasure, p 51).


A closing thought: “Laughter” (TZCHK) is related to a similarly-pronounced word for “sex” (SCHK). How many ways can laughter lead to sex, or sex lead to laughter?

Get to Know Me ...

There is a child in the youth group who is very resistant to discussing God (or even being in youth group, for that matter!). For this child—indeed, for most children in youth group—God and Jesus are abstractions, based on stories from Sunday School and without most substance.

Does such a child has a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ?

Is it possible to be saved without knowing Jesus? That is, can you pray a sinner’s prayer to an abstraction and expect the prayer to have any effect?

(Strangely, when we discussed this in the service, most people said, "It's impossible to tell if somebody has a saving faith." However, I submit it's easy to tell if they do not! A saving faith changes how one lives: no change = no faith.)

Two weeks ago we learned that the Hebrew word for a single hand is yad. The Hebrew word for eye is a (which is the Hebrew letter ayin). Together they make the Hebrew word for knowing: yada.

What idioms do we have in English involving learning with our hands or our eyes?

Read 1 John 1:1-4:

That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked at and our hands have touched—this we proclaim concerning the Word of life. The life appeared; we have seen it and testify to it, and we proclaim to you the eternal life, which was with the Father and has appeared to us. We proclaim to you what we have seen and heard, so that you also may have fellowship with us. And our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son, Jesus Christ. We write this to make our joy complete.

Circle the places where hands or eyes (or touching or seeing) are mentioned. Based on these verses, what would you want to tell the skeptical kid in youth group?

Rabbi Pain writes, “The Hebrew word for know informs us that when we get to know someone or something, we nearly always do so from a very personal point of view. In other words, we really aren’t entirely objective. After meeting someone for the first time, we may say, “that is a most beautiful woman.” In saying this, we are actually revealing as much about ourselves as we are about that woman ... But the hand-eye them in the Hebrew know tells us much more than that we are subjective in judgment. It also tells us that the criterion we subconsciously use when getting to know someone or something is: “What can he, she, or it do to enhance my life?” (Buried Treasure, p 39) What is your reaction to this statement?

Read 1 John 2:12-14:

I write to you, dear children, because your sins have been forgiven on account of his name.

I write to you, fathers, because you have known him who is from the beginning.

I write to you, young men, because you have overcome the evil one.

I write to you, dear children, because you have known the Father.

I write to you, fathers, because you have known him who is from the beginning.

I write to you, young men, because you are strong, and the word of God lives in you, and you have overcome the evil one.

Circle the places where hands or eyes (or touching or seeing) are mentioned. Based on these verses, what would you want to tell the skeptical kid in youth group?

(Me, I'd want to tell him of a personal God who has touched my life & whom I have seen at work. I think it is significant that John's words to the fathers are repeated: you have known him who is from the beginning. Let us bear witness to the children around us of what we have seen until they can see for themselves!)

I've Got to Hand It to You

Take a few minutes greeting everyone in the room. For the first half of the people, shake (or hold) hands while greeting them; for the second half of the people, do not shake (or hold hands), or hug them, or have other physical contact with them.

After you have greeted everyone, you can begin the rest of the lesson.

Last week we learned that—in Hebrew—love (chiba) and obligation (chova) are closely related. Remember the song of Tevye & Golde from Fiddler on the Roof? They loved each other, but their love was expressed through obligation to each other rather than passion. This word group also includes a Hebrew word for friend (chaver—remember pay attention to the consonants). A friend is someone to whom you are obligated, and in turn is obligated to you.

However, chaver is not the only Hebrew word for friend. A second word for friend is yedid. In Hebrew, a single Hebrew letter may be transliterated as “y”, “i’, or “j”—so for the purposes of this lesson, yedid might also be spelled YDYD. The Hebrew word for a single hand is yad, or YD.

What do you notice about the words for friend (YDYD) and hand (YD)?

What idioms do we have in English involving hands?

Consider Isaiah 41:8-14

Note the places where a hand is mentioned. Whose hands are involved?

Is God Israel’s friend? What reasons do you have from the text for your answer?

Are you a friend? Rabbi Daniel Lapin writes, “Having friends is a great blessing. The rabbis of old who wrote their transmissions in Ethics of the Fathers advise us to always to working at acquiring a new friend. Good advice it is, and not terribly difficult to do either. First, seek out obligations to undertake. Find new and unexpected ways to help other people, even if they did not ask for your help. Especially if they did not ask for your help! ... In this way, the seamless web of social connectivity grows and strengthens, allowing the blessing of friendship and love to bring happiness and prosperity to all. (Buried Treasure, p 28) To whom will you be a friend?

What's Love Got to Do with It?

Tevye: Do you love me?

Golde: Do I what?

Tevye: Do you love me?

Golde: Do I love you? With our daughters getting married and this trouble in the town, you're upset, you're worn out. Go inside, go lie down! Maybe it's indigestion!

Tevye: Golde I'm asking you a question ... Do you love me?

Golde: You're a fool.

Tevye: I know ... But do you love me?

Golde: Do I love you? For twenty-five years I've washed your clothes, cooked your meals, cleaned your house, given you children, milked the cow ... After twenty-five years, why talk about love right now?

Tevye: Golde, the first time I met you was on our wedding day. I was scared.

Golde: I was shy.

Tevye: I was nervous.

Golde: So was I.

Tevye: But my father and my mother said we'd learn to love each other, and now I'm asking, Golde ... Do you love me?

Golde: I'm your wife.

Tevye: I know ... But do you love me?

Golde: Do I love him? For twenty-five years I've lived with him, fought him, starved with him. Twenty-five years my bed is his. If that's not love, what is?

Tevye: Then you love me?

Golde: I suppose I do.

Tevye: And I suppose I love you too.

Both: It doesn't change a thing, but even so, after twenty-five years it's nice to know! (“Do You Love Me?” from Fiddler on the Roof)

Are Tevye and Golde in love? What evidence do you have to support your answer?

How does their love differ from the way the world usually talks about love?

1 John 5:3a says, “This is love for God: to obey his commands.” List as many interpretations as you can for this verse.

How do you decide which interpretation is correct?

In Hebrew, the word for loving affection is chiba and the word for obligation is chova (in Hebrew, as in English, the “b” and “v” sounds are very similar; in Hebrew, they are the same letter!). Read 1 John 5:1-5.

What does it mean to love, to obey, and to overcome the world?

What is your obligation to God, your neighbor, and yourself?

Where do you need to overcome the world within your own life?

Windows to the Soul

One day, an adviser to President Lincoln brought to the White House a man whom he thought Lincoln should appoint as a cabinet secretary. The president met with the man and interviewed him. After the guest left the White House, Lincoln called his adviser into the Oval Office and said, “This man won’t do for the job.”

“Why not?” the adviser asked.

“I don’t like his face.”

“B-b-but—“ stammered the adviser, “that’s unfair! A man can’t help what his face looks like.”

“You’re right,” the president replied. “Up to age forty, he can’t. After age forty, his face is him.”

Rabbi Daniel Lapin, Buried Treasure

In Hebrew, words with the same consonants are usually related and they are frequently pronounced similarly. In fact, the Hebrew scriptures frequently play with words that sound similar ... in Hebrew! (Usually these puns do not translate well into English.) The Hebrew word for “face” is panim, while p’nim is the Hebrew word for “inside.” You have heard the old saying, “The eyes are the windows of the soul,” but in Hebrew one concludes that the face is the window to the soul.

What idioms do we have in English about faces?

It is usually an insult to say that someone is two-faced (Was that one of your idioms?). However, do you show the same face at church as at home, at work, with strangers, while shopping? Panim is actually a plural noun, so in Hebrew it is expected that you have more than one face. After all, you are complicated! What are some of your faces?

Jacob Wrestles With God: Genesis 32:22-30

Notes:
“Jacob” means “grasper” or “deceiver”.
“Israel” means “he wrestles with God.”
“Peniel” means “face of God.”

What faces did Jacob have?
What did God see in Jacob’s face?
What did Jacob see in God’s face?
What is the significance of the other man remaining unnamed?

Closing Thought: There is no word in Hebrew for “hero.” Moshe Dayan, the Jewish military leader, was a great soldier, but also an adulterer and a man with serious flaws. Ariel Sharon said of Dayan, “He would wake up with a hundred ideas. Of them ninety-five were dangerous; three more were bad; the remaining two, however, were brilliant.” If a hero is somebody we could profitably imitate, perhaps the lesson of panim is that everyone is too complex to imitate completely (and perhaps you are too complex to be a total failure at everything).