Rabbi Daniel Lapin suggests that the plurality of sisterhood stems from the changing relationship one has with a sister or daughter before and after she marries. Before marriage, the most important man in a woman’s life is usually her father; after marriage it must be her husband. Rabbi Daniel tells of asking a friend, a successful businessman, if his sons and sons-in-law worked for him in his business. The man replied that only his sons worked for him!
While I am certain my sons-in-law would follow my directives as surely as do my sons ... their wives—my daughters—would respect them just a bit less for being their father’s employees. (Buried Treasure, p 81)
What is your reaction to this story? Do you have a similar story of relationships before/after a woman marries?
Genesis 31 tells of Jacob and his family fleeing from Laban, the father of two of Jacob’s wives, and returning to Canaan.
Jacob heard that Laban's sons were saying, "Jacob has taken everything our father owned and has gained all this wealth from what belonged to our father." And Jacob noticed that Laban's attitude toward him was not what it had been. Then the LORD said to Jacob, "Go back to the land of your fathers and to your relatives, and I will be with you." So Jacob sent word to Rachel and Leah to come out to the fields where his flocks were. He said to them, "I see that your father's attitude toward me is not what it was before, but the God of my father has been with me ... I am the God of Bethel, where you anointed a pillar and where you made a vow to me. Now leave this land at once and go back to your native land.'"
Then Rachel and Leah replied, "Do we still have any share in the inheritance of our father's estate? Does he not regard us as foreigners? Not only has he sold us, but he has used up what was paid for us. Surely all the wealth that God took away from our father belongs to us and our children. So do whatever God has told you."
Then Jacob put his children and his wives on camels, and he drove all his livestock ahead of him, along with all the goods he had accumulated in Paddan Aram, to go to his father Isaac in the land of Canaan. When Laban had gone to shear his sheep, Rachel stole her father's household gods. Moreover, Jacob deceived Laban the Aramean by not telling him he was running away. So he fled with all he had, and crossing the River, he headed for the hill country of Gilead.
On the third day Laban was told that Jacob had fled. Taking his relatives with him, he pursued Jacob for seven days and caught up with him in the hill country of Gilead ... Then Laban said to Jacob, "What have you done? You've deceived me, and you've carried off my daughters like captives in war. Why did you run off secretly and deceive me? Why didn't you tell me, so I could send you away with joy and singing to the music of tambourines and harps? ou didn't even let me kiss my grandchildren and my daughters good-by. You have done a foolish thing. I have the power to harm you; but last night the God of your father said to me, 'Be careful not to say anything to Jacob, either good or bad.' Now you have gone off because you longed to return to your father's house. But why did you steal my gods?"
Jacob answered Laban, "I was afraid, because I thought you would take your daughters away from me by force. But if you find anyone who has your gods, he shall not live. In the presence of our relatives, see for yourself whether there is anything of yours here with me; and if so, take it." Now Jacob did not know that Rachel had stolen the gods.
So Laban went into Jacob's tent and into Leah's tent and into the tent of the two maidservants, but he found nothing. After he came out of Leah's tent, he entered Rachel's tent. Now Rachel had taken the household gods and put them inside her camel's saddle and was sitting on them. Laban searched through everything in the tent but found nothing.
Rachel said to her father, "Don't be angry, my lord, that I cannot stand up in your presence; I'm having my period." So he searched but could not find the household gods ...
Early the next morning Laban kissed his grandchildren and his daughters and blessed them. Then he left and returned home.
How do you explain what transpired in this story?
Closing Thought: You may have heard Christians say that the husband is supposed to be the spiritual head of the house. Is that your experience? If it is true, how does that pertain to the changing roles of sisters and daughters?
On the other hand, there is saying, “A son’s a son ‘til he marries a wife, but a daughter’s a daughter the rest of her life.” Which picture of marriage more closely matches how you think marriages tend to work?
No comments:
Post a Comment